Saturday, March 24, 2007

Is our relationship with people or things?

The other day I was going to office by bus since it was crowded I had to give my lunch bag to a lady who was sitting and when the bus arrived to the university stop, I got down and scurried to office as I was late. Half way through, due to intense walking I felt thirsty and BANG came the reality on my face, I had left my bag with the lady in the bus!

Thanks to my reflexes, I turned around and spotted an auto rickshaw and jumped in and was telling the auto driver to follow the bus. The panicked driver (who was on his mobile talking to someone) fumbled and said he does not know the bus route, and I was more than intimidating now and said: just follow my direction was my reply, no order! I was following a bus, which had left the bus stop five minutes ago…. And the auto was zooming at great speed, (while frantic thoughts were racing in my mind… im going to be further late to office….my new lunch box and bag and water bottle was gone …. Will I be able to catch the bus…even if so, will the bag be still there?) suddenly came to a halt, it was a traffic signal and we had fifty seconds to become green. We had no choice but to wait during when we both caught our lost breath and he asked me why I was chasing the bus and I explained everything to him and he very naively said: it’s only a lunch bag.
Suddenly everything around me froze momentarily (like you see in Matrix) as the truth dawned on me and I became oblivious to everything. I tried giving him an answer saying it was new and bought only yesterday and I forgot the bag because im not used to carrying a separate one like that, etc. but the truth was, Its my bag. I own it. I alone can use it. This is what is in my subconscious mind, which has been driving me crazy behind a bus that could be seen only me in the horizon!

Suddenly the pangs of shame struck me and I felt sad. Am I having a relationship with my lunch bag? Why was I feeling bad when it left me… the reason could only be my selfishness? By this time we were behind the bus inching in the traffic jam and I jumped out of the auto ran to the lady in the bus and took the lunch bag and again hopped inside the auto and back to office. While returning I was wondering about the lunch bag episode and this however looks like a common feature in our households, “This is my Rbk Shoes, dare not touch it” says your brother. “That is my favorite pink tee shirt, you will not have it” and that’s your sister. “That’s my costly parker pen, I’ll get you another one” says your dad. So what if it’s yours, costly or favorite? Isn’t the person more important than the things we use? Just reverse the case and say you are my son/sister/brother all I have is yours. Pure joy prevails. The joy of giving, the joy of bonding. It isn’t all that simple as it sounds as we have to fight SELF to be in that joy and what better season can it be done than in lent? Let’s start with our very small things…. As I get reminded of an SMS I received sometime ago. There is so much confusion in the world because we love things and use people; the world would be a lot better if we love people and use things.

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Loving Dad

This is not a post for killing time or to make a point or to vent out my feelings, on the converse to praise God for what he is to me. He is my loving dad. The following below is actually an email (which i came across while i was deleting the unwanted mails from my sent folder)that I wrote to one of my friends (edited for the post) narrating to her all the experiences I went thro… before my parents consented to get married to my beloved. As my parent’ only problem was we were both in the same choir! And the truth was we were never in terms was most part of the last decade… only recently we decided to get married. But our parents were against it, coz everyone would say probably they were going around for so long.

The email starts here…

God stands beside every decision (when you call on him) as he allows Free will...

When you are serious He too is serious... the lesson I learnt and the long wait is worth it believe me.... Its awesome at the end of the tunnel coz we went thro it ... it was very painful... may be to make us strong in our decision (to love each other) and never take this relationship for granted at any point of time not even in our sleep!... coz we ’ve gone down the drains for it... we fought our flesh and blood for this relationship and heard derogatory things from our OWN ... I was in the verge of being thrown out from my house... my bags were almost packed and thrown... We never lost hope...

Believed God willed it!

Infact so many people including priests said that it is not meant to be that’s why its not happening some even cursed us.... saying your going against Gods will and heading DOOMS day! It’s all scary to hear.... if your fighting people its ok but if you are fighting GOD?! What becomes of us... such confusion I ’ve never been thro' before in my life...

And finally this is the verse that helped me. Rom 11:32
It says that some people were made DISOBEDIENT according to his will so that they may receive his grace.. You have to read the chapter from the beginning to understand.. And I always pictured myself as Israel. Israel was his chosen people and so am I, however they tried to run away from Him, he brought back the lost sheep. This is my belief and prayer
So we are yet to start and miles to go, so… keep praying for us....

All because we want to sing to each other all our life!

Saturday, March 03, 2007

The day i got married....

Now the story of my wedding day starts (in chronological order...)
Jan 22, 2007: the day which i've been dreaming of, for so long had arrived it was such a busy day!
I was lazing around (basically uploading the engagement snaps that happened the previous night and checking last minute emails?!) till 12: 30 and went late to the beauty parlour!
when i went there the chief of all the ladies there who suppose to dress me up was streaking someone else's hair! and when i arrived she said plz wait and i was so pissed and started yelling at her as i have booked that timing with her... (and the reason she gave was 'you didnt come so i started with her') and to my shock my mom in law was sitting there quietly with her sister in the corner while i was fuming at the staff! (she had come to do her hair do...) and my sister was literally holding my hand so tight and was telling cool down and dont spoil day and while i had a hair wash with straight control shampoo?! i didnt understand it... is it controlling the straightness my hair and making it bouncy....for which she charged me extra! God only knows. He definitely knows :)) the chief was styling my mom in laws hair and i made her hurry coz i have to get out before 3:30 as the wedding was scheduled at 4 in the church before which i have to go home wear my jewels and say prayer and get blessings from elders and then rush to church.
Inspite of my best efforts to be early i was late by 15 mins. Everyone was tensed....
bcoz The Bishop of Trichy is waiting for Me the lazy bum!!!

Then I went inside the church, the mass started as i entered with my dad holding my hand and the orchestra played here comes the comes the bride. He(my hubby) paid 18000 rs to these people (orchestra ) coz these guys are professional who play for the movies.

He was irritated bcoz the Bishop cut down two songs bcoz i came late and he had paid heavy a sum to them for this! the two readings were done by him and me, the homily was given by His Grace the bishop and the marriage rite was done by my uncle and we both gave our commitment and the knot was tied and the rings exchanged and the mass went on well... excepting the nerve wrecking offetry gifts episode, the bread and wine which He and i had to take specifically was missing!

My sis was incharge of all the offetry gifts but the bread and wine which was to be taken from the church itself was forgotten amidst all other loose ends... so my sis and uncle went running to the sacristy to get it...really tense everyone in the offetry procession went off to the altar excepting the bride and the groom and when they brought it he was speeding like a bullet train and poor me couldnt keep pace with him with my bridal saree and veil and bouquet!
the wedding was over atlast (the mass i mean, its actually the beginning of our life of togetherness, shared dreams, a commitment for life) with the signing of the register (here again in the marriage register my name was wrongly spelt and my age was also wrong it was given one year more than what i am! but what to do i had to sign...sigh) and the exchange of garlands and lots of snaps too!
We took the car went to his house and ate some PAL Pazham(milk and fruits, which he detests!) and he changed into his reception suit which co-ordinated with my receptionsilk, which was Fanta Orage and left to my house and again ate the same things and i changed my saree within 10 mins (suprisingly :P)
and rushed to the Hall and the it was already packed!

We went inside and the cake was blessed and cut and the toast was given and a small ppt presentation was shown with pic of both families right from our parents weddings! till today the important things that we have come thro... hope people enjoyed it, atleast i did. A word of thanks to all my friends who helped us around and to my choir which really sang so well.

In the meantime the new storm that was creating havoc in the dining hall was that, food hadnt arrived! my mum and dad were perplexed as some of the crowd started to leave...these stupid caterers got caught in the traffic! by God grace(He is the Lord of all creation, and said 'Be Calm'.)they arrived. There was a huge rush and few of them still left without eating bcoz it was getting late...

While the long winding line (to me it looked like a humongus Anaconda whose tail i could not see.... sorry for the intudence of my zoology) of wishing the couple started which came to an EnD atlast at 10: 30.


At last i sat .... had dinner and went home for the big night

Ok lights off.... ;)